Positively Tuesday: Positively Ridiculous

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Positively Ridiculous

by Mauverneen

Sometimes, you just gotta wonder. Take this sign for instance.

Which employee does it refer to? At least it's both hands. Is there a designated employee to wash his hands each day? If so, I hope it's my waiter.

Another one that got me shaking my head was the instruction list with my new hair dryer. Along with the safety warnings (and there is nothing funny about these) to not use it while in the bath, and to unplug it if it falls in the water instead of trying to reach in and pull it out), but the last warning on the list was - and I kid you not - 'Do not use while sleeping'. Is that even possible? Has someone actually tried this? It could sure save me some time in the morning.

I read one ad for reading glasses where the fine print said 'bifocals and some powers not available in the state of Rhode Island'. Hmmm. Are bifocals illegal in Rhode Island? And by some powers are they still talking about glasses or is Superman possibly not going to be able to save anyone in Rhode Island should the need arise?

Sometimes on non-food items you find a label that says 'Do Not Ingest'. 'Do Not Eat' might be a better option. I'm sorry, but if they have to be told not to eat plastic do you really think they're gonna know what the word ingest means?

Of course there's always the food packaging to amuse oneself. They always tell you to unwrap the item before you cook it - are there really people that need to be told to do this? And why aren't there labels on cans? Surely someone must have tried to microwave a can of soup without opening it first (with disastrous results I would say.) Please DO NOT be the first to try this! Open the can! Take the food out of the can! (Be sure to put it in a microwave safe container). Maybe people who use canned foods are smarter than people who use frozen and don't need to be told? Is this prejudice? Shouldn't we be warned just in case we can't find the opener and are the least bit tempted? I mean, apparently common sense is in danger of extinction as we evolve. (Do not attempt to open said can with a knife. You could cause serious bodily harm. Use a rock.)

'Keep out of the hands of children'. A common warning label - and good advice if you've got toddlers. But I suspect some parents have taken that warning a bit too literally. No wonder kids don't do chores anymore.

WARNING: This post is meant as humor and should not be taken literally. Keep out of the hands of anyone not familiar with sarcasm. Do not read while sleeping.

As always, words and photos are my own, and require permission to reprint.